A three word story

[OberonSH]

slap on citronella

[kirtida8]

candles, forgot to

[Doreen]

light them before

[kirtida8]

throwing them at

[SHEILA 13]

that awful man

[DEE F]

who has nowhere

[kirtida8]

to run and

[SHEILA 13]

nowhere to hide

[OberonSH]

from the mossies

[kirtida8]

and flying candles

[SHEILA 13]

that light up

[OberonSH]

the night sky

[McSporran]

with a big

[OberonSH]

firework display wow!

[kirtida8]

better than Disney

[Sharon]

my christmas lights

[SHEILA 13]

and my outdoor

[kirtida8]

Blackpool style illuminations

[OberonSH]

Nowt on Cleethorpes!

[SHEILA 13]

Sea Front now

[OberonSH]

Just been revamped!

[kirtida8]

great bells and

[Ron]

toffee apples galore

[kirtida8]

candy floss,rock

[OberonSH]

some intresting sculptures

[kirtida8]

a bubbling fountain

[DEE F]

and lots of

[kirtida8]

fairground rides that

[SHEILA 13]

go as fast

[kirtida8]

as a rocket

[Susie]

lolly pop yummy

[SHEILA 13]

in my tummy

[kirtida8]

playing jim rummy

[Dustin]

with a card

[SHEILA 13]

from the pack

[DEE F]

that was marked!!!

[kirtida8]

bought in Vegas

[DEE F]

only to be expected

[SHEILA 13]

as it had

[kirtida8]

Strippers on the

[DEE F]

outside wrapping paper

[SHEILA 13]

on the box

[OberonSH]

was a bow

[kirtida8]

big beautiful and

[OberonSH]

a suspicious card

[kirtida8]

which said the

[SHEILA 13]

man would like

[Doreen]

you to bring

[Munish]

your cheeky old

[Kitty]

seaside funny postcards

[Dustin]

and a bag

[kirtida8]

filled with cash

[DEE F]

for all to

[SHEILA 13]

share with their

[kirtida8]

friends and family

[SHEILA 13]

who only want

[kirtida8]

a good knees

[SHEILA 13]

up in the

[kirtida8]

Rose and Crown

[Dustin]

and a pack

[Doreen]

of the very

[kirtida8]

large gift wrapped

[tillyberry13]

present from santa

[kirtida8]

what could it

[OberonSH]

be? A GC?

[kirtida8]

carefully I removed

[SHEILA 13]

all the paper

[tillyberry13]

said that i

[OberonSH]

won a boat!

[kirtida8]

I feel a

[Susie]

cruise being booked

[kirtida8]

first class around

[Bobby]

Lake Toho, Kissimmee

[tillyberry13]

no the bahmas

[Kriz1]

are too wet

[Sharon]

and hurricanes galore

[kirtida8]

re-think needed

[Munish]

boat crashed anyway.

[DEE F]

and we got

[Munish]

stuck in the

[DEE F]

middle of a

[Munish]

patch of mud

[DEE F]

surrouded by all

[Dustin]

the mess that

[Munish]

the really crazy

[DEE F]

tribesmen left there

[Dustin]

along with all

[DEE F]

the empty whisky

[Dustin]

and soda bottles

[DEE F]

and refused visas

[byjove]

were 3 expats

[Dustin]

and the rest

[DEE F]

of the embassy

[Dustin]

with a WELCOME

[DEE F]

back to the

[Dustin]

the start please

[DEE F]

and lets try

[Susie]

to be friendly

[kirtida8]

OK, Good morning

[SHEILA 13]

to you all

[kirtida8]

How are you?

[byjove]

We ARE British!

[Sharon]

With stiff upper

[kirtida8]

lips and a

[Dustin]

lot of money

[kirtida8]

but very little

[Doreen]

of anything else

[kirtida8]

now what can

[DEE F]

we hope to

[Dustin]

get for all

[kirtida8]

the bother we

[tillyberry13]

went throgh to

[kirtida8]

live the dream

[byjove]

nightmare sometimes though!

[kirtida8]

what with the

[kirtida8]

heat and humidity

[byjove]

crappy immigration officers

[Dustin]

but we still

[kirtida8]

just keep swimming

[byjove]

we're not mexican!?

[kirtida8]

or Cuban either?

[Dustin]

But honest hard

[Doreen]

working folk who

[Susie]

ride a rollercoaster

[Dustin]

only to find

[kirtida8]

its come off

[tillyberry13]

the roller tracks

[byjove]

into brown stuff

[peter gold]

soft and wet

[byjove]

Like The Government

[SHEILA 13]

in their big

[OberonSH]

shiny expensive buildings

[Sharon]

with rolex watches

[peter gold]

they cannot afford

[Ron]

a pot to

[tillyberry13]

live in at

[DEE F]

The London Embassy

[byjove]

happy go lucky!

[Sharon]

earning tons of

[SHEILA 13]

money so they

[kirtida8]

could move to

[Doreen]

where the grass

[SHEILA 13]

is always greener

[kirtida8]

and the sun

[SHEILA 13]

is always shining :confused:

[kirtida8]

and the sky's

[Susie]

full of stars

[kirtida8]

what a beautiful

[tillyberry13]

night it is

[kirtida8]

a warm breeze

[SHEILA 13]

and a beer

[kirtida8]

to wash down

[SHEILA 13]

the hot curry

[kirtida8]

accidentally ate chilli

[byjove]

and a pepper

[OberonSH]

love that biriyani

[peter gold]

with live music

[kirtida8]

and karaoke singing

[OberonSH]

lots of blokes

[kirtida8]

way off base

[tillyberry13]

they broke windows

[SHEILA 13]

because the fat

[tillyberry13]

wabbit ate loads

[debd]

and couldn't fit

[Sharon]

in the doorway

[Susie]

a goodlooking hunk

[kirtida8]

was waiting with

[SHEILA 13]

a large ___________

[SHEILA 13]

a large ___________ ;)

[kirtida8]

and a drink

[DEE F]

of iced tea

[kirtida8]

with slices of

[SHEILA 13]

lemon and lots

[Dustin]

of little bits

[kirtida8]

nice and tangy

[Dustin]

to help and

[tillyberry13]

eat choclate cake

[kirtida8]

but instead we

[debd]

forgot about the

[SHEILA 13]

kids in the

[DEE F]

park and had

[haytonmac]

what do we

[Susie]

want for christmas

[kirtida8]

so started our

[OberonSH]

big wish list

[OberonSH]

big wish list

[kirtida8]

top of which

[OberonSH]

is david tennant

[SHEILA 13]

No I want

[kirtida8]

Johnny Depp and

[SHEILA 13]

a red dalek

[kirtida8]

dressed up as

[SHEILA 13]

a tiny pixie

[tillyberry13]

and meet santa




id love to meet santa for christmas i sent him a letter to

[DEE F]

and ask for

[SHEILA 13]

a lovely bunch

[McSporran]

of "fives", and

[Doreen]

of immigration officers

[McSporran]

who are often

[DEE F]

as much in

[SHEILA 13]

the dark as

[DEE F]

all the visa

[SHEILA 13]

info and papers

[DEE F]

that came up

[kirtida8]

now where did

[McSporran]

i leave my

[kirtida8]

car keys and

[McSporran]

the big red

[SHEILA 13]

bus in the

[kirtida8]

middle of the

[Dustin]

carlot was missing

[SHEILA 13]

in the jungle

[tillyberry13]

the mighty jungle

[tillyberry13]

the lions sleep

[tillyberry13]

tonight owumbue awuhu

[byjove]

Howcanya top that?

(Does this count?)

[Dustin]

just humm hummmmm

[Sharon]

sing a song

[byjove]

wearing a thong!

[Dustin]

and not much

[Sharon]

to show for

[byjove]

the money spent

[Dustin]

but big fat

[SHEILA 13]

cats who sit

[kirtida8]

in the trees

[byjove]

whistling a tune

[kirtida8]

and smiling down

[DEE F]

at all the

[Sharon]

silly b-ggers playing

[Tnky V]

Tiddley-winks, scrabble and

[Munish]

strip poker in

[DEE F]

front of a

[Munish]

large audience of

[DEE F]

immigration officials and

[Munish]

Europeans with beards

[DEE F]

dont forget the

[Munish]

homosexuals in Turkey

[DEE F]

or the ladyboys

[Munish]

in Malaysia with

[DEE F]

with all their

[Munish]

boy slaves making

[OberonSH]

lemon flavour jelly

[Munish]

shirts for all

[SHEILA 13]

male strippers who

[Munish]

live in Texas

[DEE F]

and eat big

[SHEILA 13]

steaks for there

[Ron]

bbq with flaming

[kirtida8]

hot steaks and

[SHEILA 13]

saucy sausages in