A three word story

[SHEILA 13]

flying around the

[kirtida8]

bookcase full of

[SHEILA 13]

novels by a

[tillyberry13]

bald headed man

[Sharon]

wearing a hairnet

[reecey]

with plastic rollers

[SHEILA 13]

in her hair

[kirtida8]

and a fag

[SHEILA 13]

hanging out her

[kirtida8]

mouth and shouting

[Caroline]

from the top

[SHEILA 13]

of her voice

[tillyberry13]

Fly Me Too

[SHEILA 13]

in a space

[DEE F]

ship to mars

[kirtida8]

I want to

[DEE F]

walk in space

[SHEILA 13]

with my big

[tillyberry13]

red dog,clifford

[Caroline]

who hates green

[tillyberry13]

but actually loves

[kirtida8]

fish and chips

[DEE F]

with loads of

[kirtida8]

HP sauce and

[SHEILA 13]

salt and vinegar

[kirtida8]

now he decided

[Caroline]

to look for

[SHEILA 13]

a sports car

[tillyberry13]

with a high

[SHEILA 13]

chair and cot

[DEE F]

with wheels on

[kirtida8]

that he could

[SHEILA 13]

escape to the

[Caroline]

starship enterprise to

[OberonSH]

talk to Klingons

[kirtida8]

because the Romulans

[DEE F]

wanted the captain

[kirtida8]

but the Borg

[tillyberry13]

wanted all gold

[SHEILA 13]

medals for the

[reecey]

his hairy chest

[kirsty41]

which dripped with

[Susie]

red hot wax

[kirtida8]

and smelt of

[SHEILA 13]

roses and wine

[Caroline]

covered chocolates that

[SHEILA 13]

tasted of lemon

[tillyberry13]

with rasberry and

[McSporran]

filled the whole

[SHEILA 13]

dish on the

[kirtida8]

captains table in

[Caroline]

the conservatory above

[kirsty41]

Green beans, because

[SHEILA 13]

I dont know

[tillyberry13]

what to do

[kirsty41]

with the smell

[tillyberry13]

of sewege in

[Caroline]

the captains pink

[tillyberry13]

head hat with

[kirsty41]

cherries on top

[kirtida8]

and geraniums around

[SHEILA 13]

my lovely english

[kirtida8]

garden in full

[SHEILA 13]

bloom now we

[kirsty41]

look inside the

[kirtida8]

round window Zippy

[kirsty41]

It's Big Ted

[SHEILA 13]

from the Jungle

[kirtida8]

delivering a message

[kirsty41]

Dean is coming

[SHEILA 13]

to join us

[kirtida8]

must get ready

[Caroline]

i'll wear my

[kirsty41]

bikini and galoshes

[kirtida8]

they're bright pink

[kirsty41]

with orange spots

[Caroline]

and a huge

[SHEILA 13]

red bow on

[tillyberry13]

his big boil

[SHEILA 13]

on his nose

[tillyberry13]

that is green

[kirsty41]

Said the old

[McSporran]

man, whilst smoking

[kirsty41]

a kipper and

[tillyberry13]

a fish stick

[DEE F]

with chips and

[OberonSH]

a large peas

[DEE F]

with loads of

[SHEILA 13]

bread and buttter

[kirtida8]

mash and gravy

[Caroline]

granules soaked in

[SHEILA 13]

a hot bath

[DEE F]

for my abcess

[SHEILA 13]

in my mouth

[DEE F]

and it hurts

[OberonSH]

some clove oil

[kirsty41]

and don't forget

[SHEILA 13]

your hot water

[DEE F]

not working though!!!!!!!!!!

[SHEILA 13]

so we better

[tillyberry13]

call the doctor

[McSporran]

who's drinking a

[kirtida8]

campari and lemonade

[SHEILA 13]

in a tall

[kirtida8]

glass, with ice

[tillyberry13]

and a mouse

[kirsty41]

trap in my

[tillyberry13]

bloges of gu

[SHEILA 13]

in my hair

[kirtida8]

EEEEk I screamed!

[DEE F]

make it stop

[kirtida8]

I hate mice

[DEE F]

get the cat

[kirsty41]

he's up the

[SHEILA 13]

tree sleeping like

[kirsty41]

my old man

[kirtida8]

and snoring just

[SHEILA 13]

like a pig

[kirsty41]

in clover, so

[DEE F]

forget about him

[tillyberry13]

and get choclate

[SHEILA 13]

from the fountain

[kirtida8]

of youth in

[Sharon]

the nearest pub

[kirtida8]

need a stiff

[SHEILA 13]

drink after all

[kirtida8]

a pick up

[kirsty41]

from the bottom

[SHEILA 13]

of my heart

[kirtida8]

that will lift

[SHEILA 13]

up your arms

[DEE F]

so you can

[SHEILA 13]

drink more easily

[DEE F]

with lots of

[kirsty41]

smarties, smarties, smarties

[DEE F]

because I like

[SHEILA 13]

all chocolate sweets

[DEE F]

they make me

[kirtida8]

giddy as a

[SHEILA 13]

young school girl

[kirtida8]

on her first

[SHEILA 13]

high school prom

[tillyberry13]

with a humungus

[SHEILA 13]

satin bow on

[kirsty41]

my flashing wand

[lewshanks]

Flashed no more

[SHEILA 13]

as it had

[tillyberry13]

all been washed

[DEE F]

and lost its

[SHEILA 13]

sparkle and shine

[reecey]

and i was

[tillyberry13]

scared to bits

[reecey]

with the awful

[tillyberry13]

spot on the

[lewshanks]

Wandless right hand

[SHEILA 13]

in the pot

[kirtida8]

of boiling coffee

[tillyberry13]

and watching donkey

[lewshanks]

And shrek eat

[DEE F]

loads of slugs

[lewshanks]

reminded me of

[kirsty41]

calamari and chips

[DEE F]

without the flavour

[kirsty41]

so add some

[SHEILA 13]

salt and pepper

[lewshanks]

And colemans mustard

[DEE F]

and lets make

[kirsty41]

a big mess

[Susie]

in my kitchen

[kirtida8]

I've got plenty

[SHEILA 13]

fruit and nuts

[kirsty41]

mmm Cadburys take'um

[lewshanks]

Not hershey crap

[SHEILA 13]

what they sell

[DEE F]

its too bitter

[tillyberry13]

i love candy

[kirsty41]

brush your teeth

[tillyberry13]

so not fair

[kirsty41]

you'll rot your

[OberonSH]

brain watching X-Factor

[lewshanks]

Rather my brain

[kirsty41]

than compost corner

[SHEILA 13]

in my garden

[kirtida8]

spreading its pungent

[kirsty41]

smell of Chanel

[SHEILA 13]

or is it

[DEE F]

just the smell

[kirsty41]

of burning tyres

[Caroline]

in front of

[SHEILA 13]

my own eyes

[kirtida8]

I think I'll

[DEE F]

go eat worms

[McSporran]

cos nobody love's

[SHEILA 13]

a good debate !!!!!

[McSporran]

'specially if its

[SHEILA 13]

about visa's and

[McSporran]

roast beef with

[SHEILA 13]

yorkshire puddings ,gravy

[Caroline]

with sprinklings of

[Kriz1]

hundreds and thousands..

[kirsty41]

bisto swimming on

[SHEILA 13]

the blue sea

[Kriz1]

full of deep

[tillyberry13]

mash potatoes and

[SHEILA 13]

sausages with gravy

[DEE F]

and mushy peas

[kirsty41]

baked goats cheese

[SHEILA 13]

on toast with

[kirsty41]

sun dried tomatoes

[Caroline]

chopped basil and

[kirsty41]

a chilled chablis

[SHEILA 13]

to drink whilst

[tillyberry13]

doing the limbo

[kirsty41]

and carrying two

[DEE F]

huge tropical cocktails

[SHEILA 13]

in a long

[DEE F]

piece of string

[tillyberry13]

what goes round

[DEE F]

my left leg

[SHEILA 13]

and up the

[DEE F]

back of the

[SHEILA 13]

bike shed we

[DEE F]

went for a

[SHEILA 13]

quick ciggie and

[DEE F]

got caught by

[SHEILA 13]

the old teacher

[DEE F]

who then gave

[SHEILA 13]

us the slipper

[kirsty41]

very naughty girls

[DEE F]

naughty but nice

[kirtida8]

sugar and spice

[DEE F]

and a whole

[SHEILA 13]

barrel of laughs

[DEE F]

you need to

[SHEILA 13]

take a look

[DEE F]

in the mirror

[byjove]

with lights out

[tillyberry13]

and then you

[SHEILA 13]

wont see the

[tillyberry13]

big fat boil

[SHEILA 13]

on the end

[DEE F]

of your nose

[byjove]

and your finger

[kirsty41]

poking and poking

[SHEILA 13]

until no more

[tillyberry13]

goo came out

[DEE F]

oh so gross

[kirsty41]

it makes me

[SHEILA 13]

want to be

[DEE F]

sick all over