ha ha

[lorraine]

The next time you have to clean the cat and the toilet try this
method!






Cleaning the toilet. Scroll
all the way down

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet
shampoo to the water in the bowl

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him
towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and
close both lids.
You may need to stand or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat
is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a
"power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people b etween the bathroom
and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly
lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through
the bathroom,
and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Sincerely,
The Dog

[grumps]

love it

also you can train a cat to bark
the best way is to pour gasaline over the cat and then throw a lighted match on the cat.
and then the cat goes.

whoooof

[lorraine]

lol ha ha very funny :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[lorraine]

Cat and dog diaries - what your pets really think


A dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almostsucceeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

[kirtida8]

Lol

[Susie]

The next time you have to clean the cat and the toilet try this
method!






Cleaning the toilet. Scroll
all the way down

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet
shampoo to the water in the bowl

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him
towards the bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and
close both lids.
You may need to stand or sit on the lid.

4. The cat will self agitate and make ample suds.
Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat
is actually enjoying this.

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a
"power-wash" and rinse".

6. Have someone open the front door of your home.
Be sure that there are no people b etween the bathroom
and the front door.

7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly
lift both lids.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through
the bathroom,
and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the commode and the cat will be sparkling clean.


Sincerely,
The Dog

LOL

I dread to think what I am going to find down our loo any day lately. Anthony lifted the lid and posted a plastic spoon and his toys down it, yuk!

[Susie]

Cat and dog diaries - what your pets really think


A dog's diary:

7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite!
2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7 pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8 pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9 pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My favorite!
11 pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My favorite!

The cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continued to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almostsucceeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More important, I overheard that my confinement was due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit.

The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait; it is only a matter of time.

lol,

I hate the little pressies the cats bring in, Give me a dog anyday :)