Men be Afraid lol

[lorraine]

I Want a Divorce…











A married couple is driving along a highway doing a steady 60 miles per hour. The wife is behind the wheel. Her husband suddenly looks across at her and speaks in a clear voice. 'I know we've been married for twenty years, but I want a divorce.'




The wife says nothing, Keeps looking at the road ahead but slowly increases her speed to 65 mph. The husband speaks again. 'I don't want you to try and talk me out of it,' He says, 'because I'v e been having an affair with your best friend, And she's a far better lover than you are.'


Again the wife stays quiet, But grips the steering wheel more tightly and slowly increases the speed to 75 He pushes his luck. 'I want the house,' he says insistently..

Up to 80. 'I want the car, too,' he continues.


85 mph. 'And,' he says, 'I'll have the bank accounts, all the credit cards and the boat!'


The car slowly starts veering towards a massive concrete bridge. This makes him nervous, so he asks her, 'Isn't there anything you want?'


The wife at last replies in a quiet and controlled voice.
'No, I've got everything I need,' she says.
'Oh, really,' he inquires, 'so what have you got?'




Just before they slam i nto the wall at 85 mph,The wife turns to him and smiles. 'The airbag.'












Moral of the Story :
Women are crazy!!!!


Don't mess with them!!

Just smile and pass this on to those who need a laugh!!!

[peter gold]

Did you say wind bag or airbag ?

[lorraine]

Did you say wind bag or airbag ?


As expected never listen or take notice thats why men get such a bad reputation......... they live up to it everytime!!!;)

[byjove]

tee hheeee

[grumps]

the problem in the first place was that they allow women to do things they can not do properly and that is to drive.

[InnVic]

the problem in the first place was that they allow women to do things they can not do properly and that is to drive.

oh oh...you'd better make sure your airbag is working when you next go driving with mrs grumps!!!!! ;)

[lorraine]

the problem in the first place was that they allow women to do things they can not do properly and that is to drive.

Well ,see that is where you are wrong again. We can do everything better than a guy................however sometimes we choose to pretend that we cant.... clever really ,as when outings are planned we can sit, read, sleep, knit, drink, do anything we want, whilst you poor saps drive.........lol.

Who's the stupid one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!;) :p :p

[grumps]

well the last part about women being crazy is right.

a women comes home early one day and finds her husband in bed with another women. she was very angry and took out a gun and put it to her head and was about to shoot herself, when the husband shouted don't do it darling. and she said shut up your next.

i rest my case

[grumps]

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'

The Chief nodded in agreement.

The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; and all night having fun.

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.

[Susie]

As expected never listen or take notice thats why men get such a bad reputation......... they live up to it everytime!!!;)

lol the certainly do :rofl: :rofl:

[Susie]

well the last part about women being crazy is right.

a women comes home early one day and finds her husband in bed with another women. she was very angry and took out a gun and put it to her head and was about to shoot herself, when the husband shouted don't do it darling. and she said shut up your next.

i rest my case

Grumps,

What am I to do about you? I guess nothing cos all the women on here will have you guts for garters if your not careful! :rofl:

Anyway, why not let Mrs Grumps join the site and in the fun, I would love to hear her side of the story, bet it will not match yours , he, he

[grumps]

mrs grumps is not allowed on my computer. because it has more than one button and she would be confused.

[DEE F]

mrs grumps is not allowed on my computer. because it has more than one button and she would be confused.You are absolutely unbeleivable Grumps,with all your talk on here,you are probably so hen pecked that its laughable ,come on Mrs Grumps,speak up for yourself,we are all on your side:D :D

Dee xx

[lorraine]

new two year degree is being offered at LIFE UNIVERSITY Especially for Grumps
that many of you should be interested in: BECOMING A REAL MAN. That's
right, in just six quarters you, too, can be a real man, as well as
earn an AA degree (AA Real Men). Please take a moment to look over the
program outline.
FIRST YEAR:
Autumn Schedule
MEN 101 Combating Stupidity
MEN 102 You Too Can Do Housework
MEN 103 PMS - Learn When To Keep Your Mouth Shut
MEN 104 We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings For Christmas
Winter Schedule
MEN 110 Wonderful Laundry Techniques
MEN 111 Understanding The Female Response to Getting In At 4 a.m.
MEN 112 Parenting: It Doesn't End With Conception
EAT 100 Get A Life, Learn To Cook
ECON 001A What's Hers Is Hers
Spring Schedule
MEN 120 How NOT To Act Like An ******* When You're Wrong
MEN 121 Understanding Your Incompetence
MEN 122 YOU, The Weaker Sex
MEN 123 Reasons To Give Flowers
ECON 001B What's Yours Is Half Hers (Must Pass ECON 001A)
SECOND YEAR:
Autumn Schedule
SEX 101 You CAN Fall Asleep Without It
SEX 102 Morning Dilemma: If It's Awake, Take a Shower
MEN 201 How To Stay Awake After Sex
MEN 202 How To Put The Toilet Seat Down
ELECTIVE (See Electives Below)
Winter Schedule
MEN 210 The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency
MEN 211 How Not To Act Younger Than Your Children
MEN 212 You, Too, Can Be A Designated Driver
MEN 213 Honest - You Don't Look Like Tom Cruise - Especially Naked
MEN 230A Her Birthdays and Anniversaries Are Important 1
Spring Schedule
MEN 220 Omitting @&*%$#* From Your Vocabulary (Pass/Fail Only)
MEN 221 Fluffing The Blanket After Farting Is Not Necessary
MEN 222 Real Men Ask For Directions
MEN 223 Thirty Minutes of Begging Is NOT Considered Foreplay
MEN 230B Her Birthdays And Anniversaries Are Important 2
Course Electives
EAT 101 Cooking With Quiche
EAT 102 Utilization of Eating Utensils
EAT 103 Burping And Belching Discreetly
MEN 231 Mother-in-Law
MEN 232 Appear To Be Listening
MEN 233 Just Say, Yes Dear
ECON 001C Cheaper To Keep Her (Must Pass ECON 001B)

[Susie]

You are absolutely unbeleivable Grumps,with all your talk on here,you are probably so hen pecked that its laughable ,come on Mrs Grumps,speak up for yourself,we are all on your side:D :D

Dee xx

Hi

I have met Mrs Grumps and she is very sweet, I am sure he henpecks her !

[grumps]

harvey knows how to treat a women



she was having trouble with her computer. So she called Harvey the computer guy, to come over.

Harvey clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

He gave her a bill for a minimum service call. $50.00

As he was walking away, she called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'

He replied, 'It was an ID ten T error.'

she didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired,

'An, ID ten T error? What's that ... in case I need to fix it again?'

Harvey grinned.... 'Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error

[DEE F]

A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, she told him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he could remember easily and will use
each time he has to log on.

The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his wife's attention. So, when the computer asked him to enter his password, he made it plainly obvious to his wife that he was keying in...

P...E...N...I... S...
;
His wife fell off her chair laughing when the computer replied:

PASSWORD REJECTED....... NOT LONG ENOUGH



Heheheheheheheheheh


Dee :D :D

[SHEILA 13]

Excuse me ????? its not even tea time yet !!!!!!;)
Sheila

[DEE F]

Excuse me ????? its not even tea time yet !!!!!!;)
SheilaDont worry Sheila its aimed at the men(well Grumps anyway)and they wont understand it anyway :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Dee xx

[SHEILA 13]

Right :confused: lol
no comment please Lorraine !!!!!;)
Sheila

[lorraine]

Excuse me ????? its not even tea time yet !!!!!!;)
Sheila

Ooo la la what happens at tea time then Sheila ;) ;) :hug: :confused: