christmas thread

[jay]

http://www.mesasoftware.com/images/merryxmas.swf

[jay]

http://www.jokeroo.com/funnyvideos/politically_correct_christmas.html

[kirtida8]

LOL thanks - got me into the xmas spirit :)

[jay]

funnies...

[jay]

funnies................

[jay]

Ive printed this off and made my own card's this year............

[DEE F]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:excellent.

Dee x

[SHEILA 13]

What are you like :rofl:
Sheila

[Susie]

lol, as Shelia says What you like Jane? Thanks for bringing us a smile, think we could all do with one

Wonder where the threads went of me, Dean Peter etc., singing and dancing, they were sooooooooo funny

[jay]

CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE PSYCHIATRICALLY CHALLENGED



Schizophrenia - Do you hear what I hear?

Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Queens Disoriented Are

Amnesia - I don't know if I'll be home for Christmas

Narcissistic - Hark! the Herald Angels sing about me!

Manic - Deck the halls and walls and house and lawn and street and stores and office and town and cars and buses and trees and trucks and fire-hydrants and mailboxes....

Paranoid - Santa Claus is coming to get me

Borderline Personality Disorder - Thoughts of roasting on an open fire

Personality Disorder - You better watch out, I'm going to cry, I'm going to pout, maybe I'll tell you why

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells.....

Agoraphobia - I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day, but I refuse to leave my house

Autistic - Jingle Bell Rock and rock and rock and rock...

Senile Dementia - Walking in a Winter Wonderland miles from my house in my slippers and robe

Oppositional Defiant Disorder - I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus so I burned down the house

Social Anxiety Disorder - Have yourself a merry little Christmas while I sit here and hyperventilate

[SHEILA 13]

Jayne, you are soooooooooooooo funny !!!!!:rofl:
Sheila

[Sharon]

Just sooooooooo funny :)

[jay]

http://www.funnies.com/snowbury.htm

[DEE F]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::r ofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:my fave one of all,love it ;)


Dee xx

[jay]

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::r ofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:my fave one of all,love it ;)


Dee xx

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA great init

[kirtida8]

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. It's rare.. You cannot find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attent ion. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple, Pumpkin, Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards!

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner. Remember this motto to live by:


"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body , but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming "WOOHOO, what a ride!"

[kirtida8]

There is one Christmas Carol that has always baffled me.
What in the world do leaping lords, French hens,
swimming swans, and especially the partridge who won't come out
of the pear tree have to do with Christmas?

This week, I found out.

From 1558 until 1829, Roman Catholics in England were
not permitted to practice their faith openly. Someone
during that era wrote this carol as a catechism song for young Catholics.
It has two levels of meaning: the surface meaning
plus a hidden meaning known only to members of their church. Each
element in the carol has a code word for a religious reality
which the children could remember.

-The partridge in a pear tree was Jesus Christ.

-Two turtle doves were the Old and New Testaments.


-Three French hens stood for faith, hope and love.

-The four calling birds were the four gospels of Matthew, Mark, Luke & John.

-The five golden rings recalled the Torah or Law, the first five books of the Old Testament.

-The six geese a-laying stood for the six days of creation.

-Seven swans a-swimming represented the sevenfold gifts of the Holy Spirit--Prophesy, Serving, Teaching, Exhortation, Contribution, Leadership, and Mercy.

-The eight maids a-milking were the eight beatitudes.

-Nine ladies dancing were the nine fruits of the Holy Spirit--Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness,
Gentleness, and Self Control.

-The ten lords a-leaping were the ten commandments.

-The eleven pipers piping stood for the eleven faithful disciples.

-The twelve drummers drumming symbolized the twelve points of belief in the Apostles' Creed.

So there is your history for today. This knowledge was shared with me and I found it interesting and enlightening and now I know how that strange song became a Christmas Carol...so pass it on if you wish.'

Merry (Twelve Days of) Christmas Everyone :)